I like the idea of a parallel universe where we say all the things we’re too afraid to say in this one.
A universe where we stop punishing people with our absence or by playing hard to get and instead say the things we really mean, like ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m sorry’, because everything else feels like a waste of time. In this one we say what we think is acceptable or we keep from saying things that we don’t think should be said because it’s not the right time or because we don’t want to create confusion or stress. When we’re mad, we think we have to stay inside certain lines to stay in the role because if we suddenly get soft and fall out of it, we’re not being real or trustworthy. Just like we, when we want to be professional, try to act like eighty percent of our personality has suddenly faded away or like our dreams don’t matter as much as someone else’s vision for some company we don’t really care about as much as we care about getting paid so we can survive. It’s that simple. And yet so hard to break out of.
There are lines everywhere; I don’t think lines are always a bad thing, not necessarily, but I do sometimes look at nature and at the way clouds constantly move and change shape or at the way the wind keeps shaking the trees back and forth and I wonder why we seem to be the only species on earth that sometimes get stuck. Afraid to move anywhere because what if it’s the wrong direction and what if we can’t go back? I think this extra layer of consciousness that some people would call manners or intelligence can truly be an obstacle to living our lives more naturally and simply and to being happy. I think that, maybe, underneath or above all of these lines that we want to stay inside, there’s a constant drive and a constant wish in all of us to move forward.
And when one person finally follows this urge and their innate ability to change shapes and to move, we celebrate them as if they’re out-of-this-world-extraordinary when, in reality, they’re just following their natural instincts. And when, in reality, we’re the ones creating all these norms within our cultures and societies that mostly do nothing but limit us and make us afraid. Afraid of each other and of ourselves and afraid of where we could go if we stopped worrying about everything and stopped trying to be so correct all the damn time. It’s boring and it’s unhealthy. Nobody wants to come across as the odd one out who’s blind to cultural rules and traditions, but I think the ones who dare stand out are less blind than the ones who just do what everyone else does or what they think are safe. Maybe deep down we all have a tiny directory, just like we have a survival instinct and just how we all breathe before anyone can teach us to because our bodies know it’s the right thing to do. I don’t really know where i’m going with this except I think it’s important to get better at finding this directory and following it before someone else tells us where we’re supposed to go. Just like we trust in our own ability to breathe.