Where’s my yellow paint? 

In waves of cherry stained laughter and sun kissed shoulders

I saw my childhood like I saw the summer

Golden and Blazing

And all the more radiant

Everything was yellow

Swift in swirls of sunshine

My thoughts began orbiting into the depths of ocean blues

Everything that was once joyous turned to gloom

And in waves of tear stained pillows and dimly lit smiles

I saw my adolescence like I saw the night

Dismal and fading

And all the more hazy

Everything was blue

Twisted in tides of tears

Life as I know it was a Van Gogh Painting

Blues and Yellows became the narrative of my very existence

Soaring through the night sky in the way my thoughts flood my mind

Sudden in both pain and bliss

Everything I was

Everything I am

Now live merrily in contradiction

And I wonder how can that be?

How is it that when I ask to be a sun shower

I am a hail storm

When asked to be a rose

I am the thorns

Why are my yellows my blues

And when is it my turn to choose

Which hue to view

I spend my days surrounded by blank canvases

and only the occasional bursts of blues and yellows

If that isn’t a metaphor for my life

I don’t know what is

swift-in-swirls-of-sunshinemy-thoughts-began-orbiting-into-the-depths-of-ocean-blueseverything-that-was-once-joyous-turned-to-gloom