The Mourning in Growth

I called it ‘My Acknowledgment’

Wrapping it in pretty ribbon and even prettier penmanship

I dressed my anxiety for nobody to see but myself

Praying for eternal sunshine, I tucked every unruly thought into a notebook

Making sure every line was straight and title embellished

I prided myself on my progress

Because I thought it was

But it wasn’t

I was quick to realize that progress is not perfect

Like anxiety, it is reckless

Two steps forward and nine back

It is inconsiderate

Tearing holes in masterpieces

And blaming it on the artists

It is bitter and sweet

And it takes more than a couple pages in your book to understand

It takes a lifetime

When I began my journey to self love, I did not know what to expect

Like being in a dark tunnel, I could see a light

But was not sure on how to get to it

Or what would be in my path

But I knew I had to reach it

Even if it took dying a thousand deaths

I would rise again

Try again

And love myself

If it was the last thing I ever did

I will love myself

From beginning to end

GILD

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